ANYmore

You dont hit me up and ask to go to lunch anymore

i guess that means that you dont want my time anymore

You dont call me up and tell me about your day anymore

i guess this means that you dont want my ear anymore

You dont wake me up to tell me about your thoughts anymore

i guess i am not your diary anymore

You dont want me to come over and play and tease you anymore

i guess that means you dont want my desire anymore

You dont want me to hold to kiss to caress your body anymore

i guess that means that you dont want my touch anymore

You dont text to let me know when u wont be at work anymore

i guess your telling me that u dont want my concern anymore

You dont invite me to come and take a smoke anymore

i guess that you dont want my highs anymore

You dont want to tell me your in trouble anymore

i guess you dont need or want my help anymore

You dont ask my opinion about the times anymore

i guess that you dont want my mind anymore

You want me to back off

i guess you dont want my love anymore

this was just this week

i dont want to see next week anymore

jun 20 2007

 

i didnt edit this one at all…tell me what you think!

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more wishes……

I wish biggie was alive he would have made Nas better

I wish tupac was alive he would have kept the lox from putting on those shiny leathers

i wish my grand ma was alive to remind why i have to do better

I wish she didnt have to be so strong all time

I wish i could have told her this all before she died

I wish jose was around to show me how to be a better leader

I wish wyester was here so i could tallk to her when i need her

I wish I was the son that could turn water into wine

I guess I will have to do my best to keep you all in my heart and mind.

Breathe Part 2

Its hard to type when u cant breathe

its hard to think when you cant breathe

the words seem wrong when you cant breathe

the hearts not strong when you cant breathe

finding rest is a wasteful quest when you cant breathe

there is pain from your chest when you cant breathe

its hard to sustain the best when you cant breathe

all gains seem less when you cant breathe

blankets seem best to protect when you cant breathe

all steps are slowed at best when you cant breathe

you cant protest when you cant breathe

when trapped like that

stop

just breathe

🙂

there is an old woman…..

There is an old woman that lives in my tree

She has a sad face that stares back at me

She was there before me

she was there when i was born

she was there when i was kidnapped

she was there when i came home

she has watched me smile

she has watched me mourn

she has seen my many sins

she has with me weathered many storms

she was tall when i was little

she is a giant now that i am grown

she has seen my secrets

she has watched my story unfold

she has seen my regrets

she has guarded my dreams

she was there to watch over me when my nightmares screamed

she has watched me learn to cook

she watched as  my pet was born and died

she has watched me crash

she has watched me fly

There is an old woman that lives in my tree

she was there when i was born

she will be there after me……….

THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY……

 

a great song

a good book

a quiet day

a cool winter breeze

my family ( some of the time )

my friends ( most of the time)

a great story

an interesting idea

a good conversation

a good nights sleep

a well done comicbook

a productive day at work

a good cd

a great song

learning something new

understanding something old

going bowling for my birthday

the thought of owing a black cat, a white huskie, and a liger

having the ability to get the things i said i always wanted on my own

and

me

jan 21 2008

20/20

I wish I could see you again

they way you were before you hurt me

I wish you could see me again

they way I was before I hurt you

I wish I could see you again

they way you were before trust was lost

I wish you could see me again

the way I was before lies became the norm

I wish I could see you again

they way you were before you kissed him

I wish you could see me again

they way i was before that picture with her

I wish i could see you again

before you stepped on that plane

I wish you could see me again

before my courage gave out and i decided to stay

I wish I could see you again

before he found out about you and me

I wish you could see me again

before I had put on this wedding ring

in all this wishing between you and me

after the fact always seems so 20/20

a hole in my heart.

 

why can’t i find joy in anything?

why does music have no sound?

why in food is there no taste to be found?

why have conversations become so blah?

why can’t I look up to see the stars?

why does happiness seem so far away?

why do thoughts become unclear?

why aren’t you here?

why does love have to ever go away?

Hands (proof that there is a God)

look at your hands….
I mean really look at your hands
can man make anything like hands
to touch, to feel
the movement, the stillness
can man create anything like hands
to hold to care
one touch to uplift you
one hit to put you down
they can push you away
bring you in close for an embrace
rough handling can make you cry
they can wipe tears away
a gentle touch
a strong grasp
a fist to invoke violence
a fist to protect those you love
the touch of the one you wish to forget
or the one you miss the most
they introduce
they say goodbye
they hold on
they let go
hands given to us at birth without asking or want
what other proof do you need to know that a loving God exist?

 

May 2 2006

…..that thing

 

if they knew anything it’s that i know everything and anything in between that means nothing so if something should appear that shows things aren’t as clear then that thing must be nothing at all i suppose that’s they thing when the sane thing is not the same thing as what was really the thing that started it all but the whole thing could be change if some thing could be arranged and the wrong thing was right all along yet the strange thing that i know is that when things come and go we hold on to that thing that meant it all plus if you add to the fact that some things never truly matched you may find that thing that alludes us all…..

 

original post Nov, 20 2012 on my Facebook page

I smiled

I smiled at a girl today
I smiled at her in such a way
I smiled as if i had known her my whole life
I smiled as if to say hello to my beloved wife
I smiled as if i saw my best friend for the first time today
I smiled as if she chased all the pain in the world away
I smiled at a girl today.

May 7 2006

Published in City Brink Fall 2012 edition