Monthly Archives: May 2013

Find something better for your hands

STOP

think about it for a minute

is it worth all the tension

the punishment inflicted

self indulgence

temporary happiness

short term problem solving

i know its throbbing

cold shower

she has all the power

you just holding it in your hand

time to take a stand

keep it in your pants

yes its lust combined with love

but you cant touch her

put it away

no touch will ever be her

right hand growing the strongest

but the res of you is growing numb

no need for extra stimulus

plus that is getting boring

no adult performer

can compare to the childlike joy from her

kiss

misogyny while you massaging me

tingling when i touch you

but you’re so far away from me ‘what are my hands to do

WE (how trying not to do something created something)

we would sit

we would wonder

we would guess

we would shutter

trying to figure out what this would be

we would think

we would blunder

we could ask

we would mutter

trying to figure out what this could be

we would ask

we would ponder

we test

we would stumble

trying to figure out what this should be

we would fuss

we would fight

we hold on oh so tight

trying to figure out how not to leave

we stare

we would glare

hoping to hope that the other one didn’t care

trying to figure out how not to be

we would push

we would pull

we would hold

we would hide

hoping that no one would see

and in the end two almost never friends become something that for a moment the would needed them to be

it held her heart

it saved his life

it made a wrong feel just right

no matter what reality seemed to be

together they were

for just a blur

a solid love

that others said just shouldn’t couldn’t wouldn’t meant to be

yet the dared for a chance to lay next to someone who cared

even if that one night was all there was

yet in between the trying

that defiance

created we

 

 

Climate Change

 

He made it up the mountain they way they told him to. It was not as difficult as they had said. He arrived at the mouth of the cave it looked just like they said it would. The woman was standing there just like they said she would. They were right about everything, he was afraid. The woman accepted his gift and asked him why he came. He began, I am sick. Every year after the snows melt and the days grow longer I become sick. I sweat and am overcome with fever my temper is uncontrollable and my demeanor is coarse.  I beg of you to help me. The woman just looked at him. Climate change she said. The man did not understand. She continued, I can see it as clear as day you need to move. Your blood is boiling, your memory is moving and your mind cannot slow itself down. You fell abused, wasted your mind cannot forget the punishments your decisions have brought upon you. You cannot forgive the people who have disappointed you and the faces that have spurned you. It fuels your soul the anger inside of you. It is time for a climate change. Join the snows to cool your blood and come to the forest to let your mind remember the old ways to work and feel. Return to peace of the wind, the steps of the dear and the power of the place you have left behind. Once you find it without place it within and the power of you shall begin again.

Random quotes and oneliners

 

” I rather people hate than love me. They can easily remember that they hate you. They easily forget that they love you.”

” You want to live the life you havent earned.”

” right next to the Sun Ztu i keep a King or two.
and right next to that quotes from that Nietzsche cat
then sitting over his shoulder i keep the Bible solider
so peep my readings my ammo to give you your mental beating”

” how do you measure a man? against his greatest ambitions or his base faults”

” if i did not believe in heaven i would ask is this an angel in front og me but since i believe in heaven i thank god for sending an angel on to me”

” in you i see the heavens that will be denied to me when i die”

” you know what i like about the arrogance of the damned? they already know their damned what do they have to be humble about”

they say there is somewhere to go
they say there is someplace to see
they say there is someone i’m supposed to be

 

titles

there is a fundamental change when words are rearranged to become symbols

like when me myself and I isn’t enough

when taking two words that have always been there

put them together and they become

us

you were a girl before i meet you a friend before i kissed you

girlfriend turns all our activities into a rush

i rush to let the world know

a rush to let the worries go

a rush for our bodies to be more than just close

a rush to mark a fictional territory

a rush to complete a new story

a rush to solidify us

when the claim is not you and i

mutual friends

whispers

paranoia

lies

all words powerful that become deadly when added to

us

a thing that should have been pure

tainted by words we have heard, used and claimed before

now weigh  heavy on our hearts and lust

now there are words like

anger

domestic abuse

accused

and used

and now the worst

break and up

we had to say goodbye no matter how hard we tried

it was the wrong time to be

us

A moment

1 second 1 minute
1 hour 1 day
1 word 1 year
1 breath 1 fear
1 moment which wont disappear
keeps me from loving you, wanting you

trusting you

1 second I could have walked away
1 minute I could have changed the day
1 hour I could have rewritten time
1 day I could have changed her mind
1 breath I lost my heart
1 word took my life apart
1 fear that it might happen again
1 moment I lost my first love and my best friend

May 1 2006

 

3 random raps from 1999 or so, maybe, could be, possible 98?

Number 1

i’m in my own world/money and girls/going out early evenings that dont end to 8 AM/I hope this indulgence isn’t a sin/cause i don’t want this to end/the first time i felt free from all the pain that binds me/you know what/fuck that shit/and don’t remind me/ when life treated me grimy but i shot that bitch/now life is fine/ i worked hard for my happiness/peace is mine/peace in mind body and spirit/adversity I do not fear it/nothing will dampen my shine/hate and jealousy bring it on/ my intelligence and determination four times strong/

Number 2

girl said i’m cold hearted/useless emotions have departed/love,compassion, and caring a waste to me/i found out i live better when my only concern is me/

Number 3

laugh at your ass/dirty motherfucker/splash some water on your ass/super soak ya/the h20 will choke ya swallow don’t spit/the overflow is to much for you bitch/

if i find more i will post soon lol #youth

A man without fear.

I am not afraid of my anger

I am afraid of how long it takes for me to calm down

I am not afraid of the man thoughts of pain and harm i want to inflict on those that anger me

I am afraid that I don’t have a problem with hurting those that anger me

I am afraid that the part of me that likes hurting people will get out and i wont want to cage it up again

I am afraid I am a violent man and that this violence far out weighs my intelligence

I am afraid that this other part of me is the real me

I am afraid of that day

when I am no longer afraid