Monthly Archives: August 2015

A note to my father part 1

Goodbye Father

I often wonder if you’re missing me

I heard you got another family down in Mississippi

A few sons, a couple of daughters

a lot of information but no connectivity

Goodbye Father

I don’t remember every saying hello

I do remember constantly asking for that Super Mario

Did you know stole asshole stole it from the house

how could you

you have never been around

never showed up

you didnt even buy the game

no congrats out your mouth

because of you all my relationships are in doubt

had to learn on my own how to deal

not doing that so well

how to cope with loss

how to walk about

no matter how god I do I feel left out

like I am missing something within and without

Climate Change

I just broke up with winter and i never loved summer

with no season of peace I cant help but wonder

If my connection to the cycle has been torn asunder

have i lost my place in the universe

I cant find silence in the solstice

there is no balance in the equinox

I fought to search for a place that i can call home

A climate change I can call my own

to bring me the strength to calm my storm

I need to find the sun light to help my mind shine

clear skies to give  my soul a goal to which to rise

the rain that takes my pain and turns it into smiles

i need my environment to change

this environment is toxic

steel flying through the air

iron taste

red concrete and black tops which

hide the atmosphere of hope away from me

this lack of hope strangles me

i need a climate change

i cant breathe

The Birth of Rage

I think you learned something

I think you learned that life sucks and you weren’t given the tools to handle that realization

and no matter how smart you get or what you accomplish

without those tools you will face daily complications

you were/are surrounded by dumb ass people

and because of piss poor parenting you were taught to defer to these dumb ass people

when you finally got angry enough, fed up with stupidity

that piss poor parenting made you think those feelings were the enemy

you didn’t know what do do with your rage

a rage born from wanting to be better than what was presented as the norm

a rage that came from wanting to explore the walls outside of your home

a rage that came from books that showed you that history had been deformed

a rage that said i am a man not a nigger for you to spit on

and now you are stuck in your rage

a rage you don’t want to leave

you don’t want to leave until all those dumb ass people feel your rage

but something in you is holding you back

holding you back from what you want to do most

and you are stuck

because one day you realized that life sucks

and you weren’t given the tools in which to construct

a lane for that rage to be useful on

so you rage on

I need to write something today

i need to write today

but lets re-watch game of thrones

i need to write something today

but after i put that new YouTube video on

i need to write something today

to ward off the sadness and the depression

i need to write something today

to pay for a life i wanted to give up

i need to write something today

but you just thought about that girl you meet a few days ago and pornhub is ya best buddy

i need to write something today

to make up for all those times you had a clever line and made a facebook, twitter, instagram post instead of butting in work to make a poem to express the true complexities of what you were trying to say

i need to write something today

because you admitted that you wanted to give up on your hopes and dreams and become a wage slave

i need to write something today

because for a second the anger took control and all i wanted to do was hurt people even if they deserved it, i need to stop and take these thoughts and turn them into actions that can become the success and freedom and love that i crave

i need to write something today

to express that yes i love you, that i love the individual that is me, i love the me that my people created, that i love my people, and yes i need to say these things out loud but by all that is and i mean that by all that is, writing it down just makes it seem all the more real

i need to write something today. because if i write it down today i may just find a reason to embrace this life and want to stay

im glad i wrote something today