we made it! yes we made it! wow! this has been such a pleasure and enjoyable task. i learned a lot. i have shared a lot and have come to appreciate this outlet to communicate even more. i started this blog not to long ago to promote my writings. not knowing that it would be the outlet that has encouraged my writings the most. i got real personal in the last 30 days. i have let people into a world that i was very guarded about, only sharing it through poems, never letting you in directly. i hope i have changed that and take this momentum of writing to you for 30 days straight to bring you more of my works!!!!!!
a new study just came out saying that cursing is good for you and since i have had such crappy days lately…..FUCK THIS BULLSHIT! I AM SO SICK OF HALF-ASS OTHERFUCKERS THINKING THAT THE LTLLIE THAT THEY DO IS WORTH SOMETHING. I AM SICK OF PEOPLE BEING GODDAMN SARCASTIC BUT NOT FUCKING SMART! STUPID SHIT FACE OPTIONS WITHOUT A SHRED OF KNOWLEDGE! DUMB ASS BITCHES TALKING SHIT ABOUT BAD DADS BUT WON’T OPEN THEIR MOUTHS ABOUT HORRIBLE ASS MOTHERS DESTROYING OUR COMMUNITIES!!! FUCKING SICK OF DOING THE RIGHT THING FEELING LIKE CRAP!! I FUCKING HATE IM IN LOVED WITH A MARRIED WOMAN WHO IS IN LOVE WITH HUSBAND WHO CHEATS ON HER BUT IS TOO AFRAID TO LET HIM GO SO I HAD TO LET HER GO! I FUCKING CANT STAND THAT MY MIND DOESN’T WORK AS WELL AS IT USED TO SINCE I GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND PIECE OF SHIT CUNT BAG DOCTORS DIDNT WARN ME OFF ITSHIT! FUCK! BASTARD! BITCH! ahhhhhhh ok i am done. for now. i think.
Questions from a former student of mine who is about to get married that i will now answer in paragraph form.
Love means many things to me but it for most is means a feeling of overwhelming devotion and caring for another human being. ( the difference between love & lust is lust is more of a physical want and desire usually devoid of an emotion connection. love has those same feelings but with empathy, kindness and respect in the forefront) the 3 biggest problems i have faced in a relationship are lack of trust, lack of communication and cultural differences. the 3 most important things to have to keep a relationship happy, healthy & stable for me are open and honest communication, a genuine like for that person or in better words a good friendship and economic stability. is it more important to be single or rebound with people after a breakup is a tough question. depending on how the former relationship ended time alone to heal could be what is best for you but sometimes you really do need another person to help you get over a broken heart. you just have to be honest about a rebound situation and not to confuse it with love. when things get hard in a relationship i choose to try to fix it. all relationships are a work in progress you cant just give up at the first sign of trouble. new elements may have been added into the relationship, people also grow and change so there maybe something new for you to discover about that other person. is intimacy & romance more important to you or communication & friendship? i left this question as is because i don’t believe that you can have one with out the other. you cant not experience true intimacy with someone if you aren’t friends first and can share your inner most thoughts with that other person and you cant be romantic if you are unable to communicate your feeling to someone or able to hear and understand theirs and what they like and desire.
i hope this helps theoharris!!!!!
everyone needs an artistic outlet. if you are working in the arts you especially need an artistic outlet! having a few conversations with my friends in the arts and other fields have all come t realize that without some form of artistic expression that they don’t make money off of that they would go crazy!!! just something to express themselves without being judged. so being a chicagoan i was just wondering since we have destroyed some many art programs in school and the government funded ones. is that a direct correlation to the rise in violent crimes being done by kids in the city?
i would like to thank victoria wilder . i would like to thank her for adding me in this 30 day challenge. i would like to thank her for coming into my life like a sudden rain storm that you didn’t know you needed until the rain began to fall. i would like to thank her for her shirts. i would like to thank her trusting me with her writing. i would like to thank her for fighting for her dreams and never ever giving up. i would like to thank her for her honesty when she is feeling down. most of all i would like to thank her for being her. thank you victoria
someone once told me they have trust issues because of the weather in chicago. i have trust issues because of my mother and father. one didn’t stay stay long enough to see my her grow. one let me get kidnapped before i was one years old. i know, i know the past should be the past but it’s hard when path gets turned around for things that weren’t in your grasp. like not being able to tell your day that you need him. you try to talk to your mother like she is people but it’s rough when she can’t even hear the metaphors when you try to explain your core reasons. the reasons why you see things so different. that you dream of things that make you want to be different. all she sees is her fears and calls her actions protection. when what she is doing is allowing more barriers to be erected. that would be fine if she didn’t then stand in your way when you try to take them done. thats why i no longer care for mother’s day when it comes around.
For the record i don’t like that song but i think it is a lesson that kids should learn now at an early age!!!! LET IT GO!!!! man oh man, because with life’s daily stress, plus the random things that will come a long out of no where sometimes you have to just LET IT GO. no that doesn’t mean that problems will disappear and you wont have to solve them but every once in awhile, take a deep breath and LET IT GO!!!!!
it’s funny how the money changes situations! me and my siblings have been getting along quite well since my mother went to visit our brother on the east coast. no fighting, everything has just been chilled but a few issues with the house have come up and i have a few bucks stashed so my helped was asked. i did not mean to rhyme that but im not changing it. i have limited funds so i asked for when my money can be paid back and of course here comes all the bs about how we all need to live here and mom needs this just fixed but when i was working a steady job and everyone in this household had money saved no one wanted to listen or spend money. i was willing to help. i was willing to help when we all had steady money coming in. now im a fucking bad guy because i want to protect the little money i have. fuck you. everybody suddenly lives here and has to help when it comes to my money but when you have money there are no problems in the house that need fixing. time to start getting paid for this writing and get the away from these people. i am just sick of the double standard and hypocrisy.
my life is wrapped in a dark cloud. a dark cloud of fear given power my circumstance and the facts of life. i am afraid. as a young kid first learning to run and play, hit with asthma. as a teenager finally getting to play football, a sport he loves, disc slipped after a hit in practice. didn’t even get hurt during a game. after learning to walk again and preparing for his first real adult party, being allowed to drink and all, diagnosed with diabetes. life changing diagnosis. as a young adult finally moving out on my own after so many growing pains, job screws me, cuts my wages have to move back home. thank you hector rodriguez. life gets better, you move on, you grow and adapt. finally ready to move out again. take that trip to Ireland. found a balance with friends family and work. my appendix burst. gets twice infected and with a 45 day stay in the hospital what little heath i had is gone. get out of the hospital only to lose my job and well here we are. two years later, free to do what i always should have done in being a writer. my health seems to finally be picking back up and there is this book…… a book that is my dream. to finally have my words out there and people reading them and debating their meaning and dissecting my words and and and………..i am afraid. i am afraid that if i accomplish this goal, that if i complete one more dream. that i am not strong enough to fight the next bad thing that will come from it. don’t think this way they say. be strong. be positive. god has a plan. it will all work out. they haven’t seen my track record. they haven’t lived in my cloud.
this cat and this bird left their house for a curb to see what they could see. for somehow with out warning they both found it alarming that they didn’t truly know what the world could be. the cat with his eyes saw all the cracks, crawls and craviouses between all the cars and the trees. the bird took to the sky and soon by his eyes saw that there was noting between air, land and sea. when they were done with their course they returned home for a report to compare what the other had seen. their perspectives they questioned and observations vetted to learn what the other could teach. to summarize they both rationalized they still had it better than those things on two feet.