Tag Archives: angry

Today’s Date A new 30 day challenge and dealing with loss.

October 29, 2015TODAYS DATE30 day challenge, Anger, angry, belief, blog, blogging, brother, challenge, Children, death, depressed, depression, Emotion, friendship, growth, loss, Mental Health, strength, writer, writersdarrindbradley

i knew exactly what i wanted to write about today. with thanksgiving coming up i wanted to begin a 30 day challenge about what i was thankful for. i was very excited when i realized what i wanted to do and write about. i was very excited and couldnt wait to share with people my challenge but then i read some bad news. my best friend, my brother lost his child yesterday after noon. a son who had been fighting for his life over the last 11 days. he was strong and beautiful. My brother is taking it as well as he can and i tink i am doing the same but i am not sure. I have always had a different relationship with death, even before my depression and suicidal thoughts became prevalent. I have rarely looked upon death as a bad thing but as i have become more aware of my emotional reactions i have become aware of how others deal with theirs even more. Angger and frustration, which can trigger my depression, are flowing through me but i believe i have been handling it well but i honestly do not know. i know i have to break self destructive patterns that lead to my depression but i cant cut myself off from these emotions but learn to deal with these feelings. i want to write more. I want to express what i am feeling. I want to be a good brother. I hope I can do these things and maintain my new found balance with my mental health.

Today’s Date (something about feelings, a poem maybe)

September 17, 2015TODAYS DATEafraid, angry, belief, blog, broken, caged, control, damaged, death, depressed, desire, Emotion, expression, feelings, happy, Hate, listening, love, poem, stupid, suicide, talkingdarrindbradley

i have so much to say. I dont feel like saying a thing.

i have much i want to do. i dont feel like doing a thing.

i think feelings may be a huge problem for me.

i feel to much or i dont feel at all and i have a had time expressing it either way.

i feel as if i dont have anyone to talk to.

i feel as if those i talk to dont hear me.

i dont want to feel anything anymore.

the good feelings dont last and the bad feelings feel like they never go away

i feel lost

i feel more afraid then i used to

i feel stupid

i feel neglected and over looked

i feel used

i feel mistreated

i feel unloved

i feel hatred

i feel angry

i feel caged

i feel damaged

i feel broken

i used to feel happy i used to feel respected i used to feel powerful i used to feel love

i feel like death is the only ending to these feelings

i think i feel to much

A note to my father part 2

September 3, 2015PoemsAnger, angry, chicago, childhood, cow boy, depression, father, kid, letter, mario, note, parentsdarrindbradley

Fuck you father and yes I am intentionally being rude to you because you was just some dude that came around to feel on my momma and truth be told i dont remember how old i was i was when super mario 3 came out out but i wanted it and if im honest if you didn’t have that yellow and grey cartridge you was just a partridge singing songs that didn’t relate to me so how you gone relate to me if it wasn’t for blood you wouldn’t even be a relation to me but i also remember the shoes the brown leather cow boy boots that they said you would wear where ever you went and i remember begging for a pair hoping you would catch a glare and say that’s my boy trying to fill his daddy’s shoes i lose it never happened and those shoes had them all laughing at the Chicago kid who thought he was a cow boy and its strange when you think the other kids had that same instinct to search for their dads but it didn’t seem to affect them i guess they had others around to compensate while i had to wait in vain that these dream of mine would go away a dream for a family caused those surrounding me i couldn’t talk to or understand their meaning so now i am mean because to them it seems im arrogant and an ass but im just off to the side i guess still waiting for my dad or at least someone that makes me feel that i didn’t lose out because you weren’t about cause i never got the chance to lash out and just be a kid who’s mad

I need to write something today

August 17, 2015PoemsAnger, angry, change, create, darrin, death, depressed, depression, desire, Emotion, escape, facebook, fighting, game of thrones, honesty, instagram, life, love, lust, peace, People, poem, poems, Poetry, porn, pornhub, social media, therapy, truth, twitter, word play, words, write, writer, writers, YouTubedarrindbradley

i need to write today

but lets re-watch game of thrones