WHAT’S UP PEOPLE!!!!!!
i have been gone for a little bit. Took an unexpected trip to JAPAN!!!!!!!!!! It was an almost pure last minute thing that i did not expect and i am so glad that i took the opportunity to go! My friend Alex is the one who invited me and set up the trip! (and paid for it, he is amazing) We went from Dec. 27, to Jan. 11 so we spent New Year’s and my birthday in JAPAN!!! So having a blog most people thought oi would chronicle the experience on here and keep up a daily blog schedule but i took a different approach. one reason is because we would not always have reliable WiFi and another is because i wanted to write about what i was experiencing at the time. yes, this is writing typing on the blog but there is something so intimate about putting pen to paper and since right before i left on the trip my sisters brought me a journal i took it as the right thing to do to write what was going on down in there.
I am so glad i did. it has been a long time since i have written with a pen on a daily bases that it made the whole experience when more amazing! the mental exercise of writing without spell check and still capturing the experience of climbing two mountains and feeding deer in a Buddhist temple or just becoming infatuated with a pretty girl that you talked to for five minutes in between sight seeing. we traveled to five cities in those two weeks, Tokyo, Mt. Fuji, Kyoto, Osaka and Nara. Each city held its own style and feel plus getting to them was awesome. The public train system in Japan was so complex yet easy to navigate, the operators were beyond helpful and if you messed up they were to happy to help you with adjustments! (inside joke) THEN THERE WAS THE BULLET TRAIN! it was beyond cool and yes even with the experience of riding the monorail at Disney, noting can compare to taking the bullet train around a mountain and across half a country!
The food by the gods the food! we didnt have one bad meal while we were there and that includes the two meals we had that we got from 7-11! Yes I said 7-11!!!! everything was so fresh and even with eating noodles two or three times a day noting tasted the same and was a new, wonderful experience.
there are so many things to talk about like how we didnt see any trash on the ground for almost two weeks or how that a shrine in the middle of the day in a busy city surrounded by traffic and skyscrapers was the most quiet place i have ever been in my life! i could talk about how comic books and sex arent looked upon as something to be hidden or placed in a sub culture as if it is beneath people and scary but placed out in a manner of normality that doesnt offend anyone! i could go on for days about the comics and the diversity of the people who enjoyed them with no shame. i could begin an entire new blog post about how traditional and the latest in modern advances live side by side in harmony! I can talk for days about the women!!!! I could go on and on but i wont.
i love writing and i believe writing can be a gateway for people to leave the surroundings that they may be trapped on or take them to places that dont even exist but now i also believe that sometimes you just have to go. you just have to stop looking upon others and their experiences and have your own! THEN WRITE ABOUT THAT!
and for my black people in america, GO! GO to places outside of the states! GO to places where you may be uncomfortable! GO to places where the government actually wants you around! GO to places that you think that you can only read about! THEN WRITE ABOUT IT!
if you want to see pictures and random thoughts from or about my trip follow my social media!
let us start with the setup.
last week friday or thursday, forgive my time displacement, i was on twitter active in a hashtag called #BlackComicsChat (join in next month you wont regret it) and one of the topics was what got you into comicsbook reading. A flood of joyous comicbook memories came into my head, from the first time i read a comic, to the fisrt time someone brought me a comic, to the first time i brought a stack of comics with my own money! Good times. then has the memories came in and as i read the response of others i began to be filled with anger and negatives thoughts. i was so shocked and surprised, i was having a great time, the event reminded me of why i love comics so much but why was i beginning to feel this way? why were so many bad memories rushing to the surface and trying to take away the joy that i had been feeling learning that i was not the only one who felt this way about the four colored world of heroes and villain? Depression. i think people dont realize that is how depression can take a hold on you. it can creep in on the strongest, most positive feelings and place only the negative in front of you. So i got off of twitter and took 30 deep breathes and did a few of my rethinking exercises that i learned in therapy and went back to the event. that moment was the first time where i felt that i would be ok that i knew that this was a fight that i was winning, a fight that isnt over but a fight that i am in. to those that are dealing with some of the stuff i write about and some of the issues that depression causes if you find yourself reading this, FIGHT. YOU CAN WIN!!!!
oh man oh man oh man! i don’t even want to know where to start with this month. therapy got really super rough and raw. i think that is a good thing so i can move forward and not get stuck talking about the same stuff! started writing comicbook reviews again and i hope that they will be published soon. i started looking for a job with sincerity and know that they will develop into something fruitful soon!!1 when on my first date in YEARS and i think that it went realty well, we are planning on a second date!!!! i have had more than a few bad days but nothing serious. i kept my clam and didnt hut myself or anyone else. i claim that as a victory! went on a lunch date with my baby sister and it was super fun! there are things i didnt do this month that were on my to do list and i hope to fix those soon! SCHOOL HERE I COME!
thank you all who read my blog and follow me on social media! i wish i could tell you guys how much your support means to me!!!
January has always been an up and down month for me. either i have a great bday and the rest of the month sucks or i have a sucky bday and the rest of the month is great. this year has seen a change and i have to thank therapy for that. thanks to therapy i took whatever happened and made it worth while, made it fun and made sure i didnt let anyone take my joy away! A few tried to take my joy away but i didnt let them!!!!! I’ve been off my meds for a month now, under my doctors supervision, and have been using the exercises I learned in the hospital added with being honest with my therapist has really helped me to maintain my balance. 2015 has already tarted off great! i have a few new measurable goals, daily things i do to keep up my physical and mental health, and a new attitude on life!!! 1 down 11 more months to go!!!!
oh man i have no idea where to start lol
i have been down. way down but i think i have been fighting. my laptop failed on me but instead of getting down i turned to pin and paper. i even found an old laptop ( which i am writing on now) and got i into descent working condition. house situation is not getting better but i think i am getting better at handling things. i have also come to the realization that i do need a therapy A LOT OF THERAPY! that is not a bad thing. i need people i can talk to that will actually listen even if i have to pay them for it. i want to be a better person and i am tired of feeling like being better is a bad thing. so i have plans again and i think i like them but i also know i can make better plans and can be better at working on my goals. still plan on publishuing the book. i am back to writing my comic reviews! and back to being me!!!!!!
Second review is live! tell me what you think! New poems coming soon!!!
i have to start putting my money where my future is.i am a writer. i love to write. i write poems. i have started writing a few novels. i have a few hundred ideas for movies and tv shows that i have started treatment on. the thing that has always inspired me to write has been black super heroes. in fact it is the lack of black superheroes that got me back into writing. so why don’t you hear a lot out my super hero stuff? i have done anything new with it since 2007. i haven’t gone to any comic book convention, EVER, and there are two that take place in Chicago. i do not have an answer for why i don’t put my money where my future is. all i know is that if i want to create black superheroes so kids that are like me can see faces that are like theirs saving the world. i better get started soon.
I sit alone in my four corner room staring at four corners. Trying to remember the day I realized I was bigger than these four corners. Bigger than the house and it’s four corners trapped inside the yard boxed in by its four corners. Bigger than the city block which stops so short of anything. Bigger than the hustlers on those four corners trying to recruit me. I sit alone in my four corner room staring at the four corners of the many books that helped to release me from from these four corners. i sist alone staring at the four corners of the four colored comics that gave me such joy to explore worlds that the four corners of my block would not allow me to see. I sit alone with the four corners of the page I work on to capture this feeling and pass it on from you to me!