So after a very mentally trying day followed by a physically trying day, I may be normal. I say that with a slight question mark because I don’t think I knew what that meant. So much of my actions have been dictated by my unbalanced emotional reactions I couldn’t recognize a normal response. I think I like this. I like having a sense of balance and now I understand how much work it takes to maintain this positive outlook.
On a side note I have started two challenges for November to keep me motivated. One, no shave November gor men’s health and two, the people I’m thankful for challenge. All post will be on my instagram first @bossbradley442 and I will then post compilations of those post in future blogs here.
Thanks for reading. I will talk to you soon.
it has been rough since last week Thursday. some dumb shit that was complete out of my control (and if it was in my control when i learned what happened it was to late for me to do anything about it) triggered me and set me off into a deep depression. fortunately i didnt do anything and made it to my therapy session on Friday and there i just let out all the stuff that i had bottled up and it made me feel worse at first. i was hiding from how i was really feeling and talking about it opened the flood gates. the thing is eventually the rush and overwhelming feeling left and i was just left with sadness. writing this now is even a little difficult because the trigger is still there and coping with it brings out more than just sadness it also brings out anger and hatred and rage and a sense of no longer wanting to be here. but i am here i dont no why i am here the feeling of not wanting to be here and the sadness havent left it just feels more manageable. i made small goals for myself. just little things to do to get me to teh next day even if i didnt think i wanted to make it to the next day. my therapist did as well asked me to to small things just to even make it to Monday. i did them. i am here maybe that is the best i can do right now. maybe that is all i need. i will do my best to stay positive and see what happens tomorrow. i probably wont post here but maybe something on instagram or twitter, something to keep me out of my negative thoughts.