Tag Archives: game of thrones

I need to write something today

i need to write today

but lets re-watch game of thrones

i need to write something today

but after i put that new YouTube video on

i need to write something today

to ward off the sadness and the depression

i need to write something today

to pay for a life i wanted to give up

i need to write something today

but you just thought about that girl you meet a few days ago and pornhub is ya best buddy

i need to write something today

to make up for all those times you had a clever line and made a facebook, twitter, instagram post instead of butting in work to make a poem to express the true complexities of what you were trying to say

i need to write something today

because you admitted that you wanted to give up on your hopes and dreams and become a wage slave

i need to write something today

because for a second the anger took control and all i wanted to do was hurt people even if they deserved it, i need to stop and take these thoughts and turn them into actions that can become the success and freedom and love that i crave

i need to write something today

to express that yes i love you, that i love the individual that is me, i love the me that my people created, that i love my people, and yes i need to say these things out loud but by all that is and i mean that by all that is, writing it down just makes it seem all the more real

i need to write something today. because if i write it down today i may just find a reason to embrace this life and want to stay

im glad i wrote something today

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Because it’s My Birthday precious!

today’s date blog is all about yesterday!

yesterday was my 33rd birthday and to say i was hard getting there s an understatement. my battle with depression took a turn for the worst late lat year and it looked like i wasnt going to see 2015 but today i am happy that that is no the case. YESTERDAY WAS AWESOME. the only thing i had planned on doing was posting a free pics to social media (go and follow me on everything lol) letting people know it was my bday and was going to just say thank you to those that wished me a happy one. it turned out to be so much greater! i got well wishes from those that i havent seen in ages. beautiful notes from beautiful women who i didnt even think noticed me. words of encouragement from those i look up to who i didnt think saw the things that i have been going through. i got gifts that i didnt ask for because on that day just being here was enough for me. the notes, facebook statuses, private messages and early morning phone calls warmed my heart in ways that i couldnt imagine i still could fill and that alone is a gift i can never repay . for that i say thank you to all and for those that went the extra mile i hope the private messages i sent in return conveyed half of my appreciation for you!!!!

but let’s talk about them gifts tho lol

i got a surprise gift from my mom which was really cool because i didnt expect her to get me anything and that was really nice.

one of my mentors (SKINNER) took me out to an awesome meal at the cheesecake factory (SOOOOO GOOD) and about five hours of conversation, that i thought was the best thing to have because i am starting to realize that after all my brushes with death the time we choose to spend with each other us more valuable then we can ever know.

THEN i got a really expensive book that i LOVE LOVE LOVE (its the history of westeros! #gameofthrones

i dont make plans for my birthday since i turned 23 so i like to usually i  find a really good book and just enjoy it. these last few years i have been in the hospital or ill so i would be dealing with that and those things were a leading cause of he depression but i am so glad that i didnt do anything to harm myself because i would have missed out on one of my best birthdays to date and the greatest gifts that one could ask for, the gift of being loved.

thank you all again and i know the thirty third year of me will be the best year of them all