Tag Archives: honesty

A poem about donuts or booty (unfinished)

round brown beauty

so soft and so sweet

the taste of you is a high to me

a soft bight to let you know that you are mine

the warmth from your touch controls my mind

let your curves bring me my earthly delight

may the hands that created you be blessed for all time

I need to write something today

i need to write today

but lets re-watch game of thrones

i need to write something today

but after i put that new YouTube video on

i need to write something today

to ward off the sadness and the depression

i need to write something today

to pay for a life i wanted to give up

i need to write something today

but you just thought about that girl you meet a few days ago and pornhub is ya best buddy

i need to write something today

to make up for all those times you had a clever line and made a facebook, twitter, instagram post instead of butting in work to make a poem to express the true complexities of what you were trying to say

i need to write something today

because you admitted that you wanted to give up on your hopes and dreams and become a wage slave

i need to write something today

because for a second the anger took control and all i wanted to do was hurt people even if they deserved it, i need to stop and take these thoughts and turn them into actions that can become the success and freedom and love that i crave

i need to write something today

to express that yes i love you, that i love the individual that is me, i love the me that my people created, that i love my people, and yes i need to say these things out loud but by all that is and i mean that by all that is, writing it down just makes it seem all the more real

i need to write something today. because if i write it down today i may just find a reason to embrace this life and want to stay

im glad i wrote something today

February

oh man oh man oh man! i don’t even want to know where to start with this month. therapy got really super rough and raw. i think that is a good thing so i can move forward and not get stuck talking about the same stuff! started writing comicbook reviews again and i hope that they will be published soon. i started looking for a job with sincerity and know that they will develop into something fruitful soon!!1 when on my first date in YEARS and i think that it went realty well, we are planning on a second date!!!! i have had more than a few bad days but nothing serious. i kept my clam and didnt hut myself or anyone else. i claim that as a victory! went on a lunch date with my baby sister and it was super fun! there are things i didnt do this month that were on my to do list and i hope to fix those soon! SCHOOL HERE I COME!

thank you all who read my blog and follow me on social media! i wish i could tell you guys how much your support means to me!!!

January

January has always been an up and down month for me. either i have a great bday and the rest of the month sucks or i have a sucky bday and the rest of the month is great. this year has seen a change and i have to thank therapy for that. thanks to therapy i took whatever happened and made it worth while, made it fun and made sure i didnt let anyone take my joy away! A few tried to take my joy away but i didnt let them!!!!! I’ve been off my meds for a month now, under my doctors supervision, and have been using the exercises I learned in the hospital added with being honest with my therapist has really helped me to maintain my balance. 2015 has already tarted off great! i have a few new measurable goals, daily things i do to keep up my physical and mental health, and a new attitude on life!!! 1 down 11 more months to go!!!!

today’s date

i went to lay down for two seconds

for the first time today i wasnt  distracted by

tv

movies

video games

meaningless conversation

cleaning

reading

or just moving something

so i went to lay down for two seconds

and the first thoughts that came to mind was how much i want to hurt these people

i need to break out of this fucking depression and get my shit together

and to my fucking so called friends who think i need to check in on them but don’t fucking check in with me and don’t read this blog to even know half the shit im dealing with FUCK YOU!

Day 15. A Paragraph A Day: 30 Day Challenge

HALF WAY THROUGH THE CHALLENGE PEOPLE! WISH ME LUCK!!!!

insecurities. i tell you people insecurities are going to mess us up. insecurities will keep us from asking for help. insecurities will make us see others confidence as arrogance. insecurities will have us lying when the truth was no threat at all. insecurities will give power to our fears when there should have never been fear in the first place. it is sad that my relationship with a married woman may have been my most healthy relationship to date because she had few if no insecurities about herself. she didn’t lie or feel they need to lie about ours or any other situation, she had no fear of my reactions to anything because we communicated everything to alleviate any insecurities or false perception.  that is why it pains me so to see my married friends in relationships where their partner seems to have to lie about such small insignificant things. things that don’t need to be lied about which just makes one wonder about the bigs things that person is capable of lying about. being insecure no matter how much a person loves you can push them away especially if that person is being supportive and wants noting but the best for you. this post is not saying that you don’t have the right to be insecure about things, no one is perfect, but you should not let you insecurities color you thoughts and feelings about someone who cares for you. the best way to cure insecurities is to communicate and be honest with yourself and others.