Tag Archives: lies

it only seems

it seems people only pay attention to you when you are gone

only love you when they are wrong

are only around when you are strong

only acknowledge you when there is pain

only value you when there is something to gain

only apologize when they get caught

are only impressed when you are in second place

only concerned after the fears you faced

only appear after you weathered the storm

only ask how you are doing when all is gone

only find time when you need to be alone

only have an opinion until you write this poem

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Today’s Date Thoughts from Depression

i tell myself lies to stay alive

just let me be for awhile, i promise i will be ok

in my dreams there are worlds where i am happy. if i work hard enough i can make this world one of them

there is no end to the darkness

there is no such thing as happiness

should have could have would have

no one else knows what this feels like

i dont now who i am

i dont know anything ‘

i cant do anything about this

these are but a small fraction of the negative thoughts that have been sipping into my reality since my depression and suicide hit. these are but a few of the many negative pathways that i must change direction on. i am changing my direction. some days are harder than others but it is on those days i remember how far i have come. keep fighting!!!!

Day 15. A Paragraph A Day: 30 Day Challenge

HALF WAY THROUGH THE CHALLENGE PEOPLE! WISH ME LUCK!!!!

insecurities. i tell you people insecurities are going to mess us up. insecurities will keep us from asking for help. insecurities will make us see others confidence as arrogance. insecurities will have us lying when the truth was no threat at all. insecurities will give power to our fears when there should have never been fear in the first place. it is sad that my relationship with a married woman may have been my most healthy relationship to date because she had few if no insecurities about herself. she didn’t lie or feel they need to lie about ours or any other situation, she had no fear of my reactions to anything because we communicated everything to alleviate any insecurities or false perception.  that is why it pains me so to see my married friends in relationships where their partner seems to have to lie about such small insignificant things. things that don’t need to be lied about which just makes one wonder about the bigs things that person is capable of lying about. being insecure no matter how much a person loves you can push them away especially if that person is being supportive and wants noting but the best for you. this post is not saying that you don’t have the right to be insecure about things, no one is perfect, but you should not let you insecurities color you thoughts and feelings about someone who cares for you. the best way to cure insecurities is to communicate and be honest with yourself and others.