Tag Archives: post

Today’s Date a rough weekend

it has been rough since last week Thursday. some dumb shit that was complete out of my control (and if it was in my control when i learned what happened it was to late for me to do anything about it) triggered me and set me off into a deep depression. fortunately i didnt do anything and made it to my therapy session on Friday and there i just let out all the stuff that i had bottled up and it made me feel worse at first.  i was hiding from how i was really feeling and talking about it opened the flood gates. the thing is eventually the rush and overwhelming   feeling left and i was just left with sadness. writing this now is even a little difficult because the trigger is still there and coping with it brings out more than just sadness it also brings out anger and hatred and rage and a sense of no longer wanting to be here. but i am here i dont no why i am here the feeling of not wanting to be here and the sadness havent left it just feels more manageable.   i made small goals for myself. just little things to do to get me to teh next day even if i didnt think i wanted to make it to the next day. my therapist did as well asked me to to small things just to even make it to Monday. i did them. i am here maybe that is the best i can do right now. maybe that is all i need. i will do my best to stay positive and see what happens tomorrow. i probably wont post here but maybe something on instagram or twitter, something to keep me out of my negative thoughts.

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THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY……

 

a great song

a good book

a quiet day

a cool winter breeze

my family ( some of the time )

my friends ( most of the time)

a great story

an interesting idea

a good conversation

a good nights sleep

a well done comicbook

a productive day at work

a good cd

a great song

learning something new

understanding something old

going bowling for my birthday

the thought of owing a black cat, a white huskie, and a liger

having the ability to get the things i said i always wanted on my own

and

me

jan 21 2008