Tag Archives: youth

The Birth of Rage

I think you learned something

I think you learned that life sucks and you weren’t given the tools to handle that realization

and no matter how smart you get or what you accomplish

without those tools you will face daily complications

you were/are surrounded by dumb ass people

and because of piss poor parenting you were taught to defer to these dumb ass people

when you finally got angry enough, fed up with stupidity

that piss poor parenting made you think those feelings were the enemy

you didn’t know what do do with your rage

a rage born from wanting to be better than what was presented as the norm

a rage that came from wanting to explore the walls outside of your home

a rage that came from books that showed you that history had been deformed

a rage that said i am a man not a nigger for you to spit on

and now you are stuck in your rage

a rage you don’t want to leave

you don’t want to leave until all those dumb ass people feel your rage

but something in you is holding you back

holding you back from what you want to do most

and you are stuck

because one day you realized that life sucks

and you weren’t given the tools in which to construct

a lane for that rage to be useful on

so you rage on

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Day 18. A Paragraph A Day. 30 Day Challenge

as i sit here trying to go back to sleep and planning for my day at the movies. (it’s about 4:30 am) i have come to realize that i have a lot to be happy about. i have a lot to be glad i am alive to see. you think after dying so many times (see previous paragraphs) that i would express this feeling  more often . one of the many reasons i am happy to still be around is the modern age of comicbook movies!!! ok so let me tell you something about myself. I LOVE COMICS!!! i learned to read through comics. i got through a few of those deaths because of comics. my love of books and learning all come from comics!!!! when i first saw a black woman acknowledged as a queen , COMICS!!!! (storm of the x-men is still one of my favorites) when i saw people like me could be heros and not have to be white and born in new york! those books helped me escape some of the more troubling aspects of youth in the late eighties, early nineties of chicago. those books are what inspired me to become a writer!!!! so when i say i’m happy to be alive in the great age of modern comicbook movies, it is because i know for a fact that more kids will get to see the wonder and and excitement, they will get to experience things that at a young age the world tries to shut out on a much more massive scale then i did. they get a chance to see that they can be heroes too! 

Day 7. A Paragraph A Day: 30 Day Challenge

I remember the second time I died or more so the second time I felt that quietness that empty space. One day after a really nasty hit during football practice. I was coming out of the house heading for school when all of a sudden I felt nothing. My body gave out I passed out and found myself hanging from my neighbors gate. I couldn’t move. My sister’s before at the time was driving by the house and saw me hanging there. I was a fat kid he couldn’t help me back to the house he got me off the fence and talked me into crawling back home. It was only a few feet but it felt like the road to Damascus. I crawled using what strength I had in me, using my forearms to   move across the concrete. I passed out. I awoke with my mom sitting over me wondering why I was on my couch in my living room. I passed out again into that quiet empty space. I didn’t like it. I didn’t like being crippled. I slipped disk was the cause. I was walking again within a month. Didn’t like the feeling of not being able to move, of being still and quiet, so I came back.

3 random raps from 1999 or so, maybe, could be, possible 98?

Number 1

i’m in my own world/money and girls/going out early evenings that dont end to 8 AM/I hope this indulgence isn’t a sin/cause i don’t want this to end/the first time i felt free from all the pain that binds me/you know what/fuck that shit/and don’t remind me/ when life treated me grimy but i shot that bitch/now life is fine/ i worked hard for my happiness/peace is mine/peace in mind body and spirit/adversity I do not fear it/nothing will dampen my shine/hate and jealousy bring it on/ my intelligence and determination four times strong/

Number 2

girl said i’m cold hearted/useless emotions have departed/love,compassion, and caring a waste to me/i found out i live better when my only concern is me/

Number 3

laugh at your ass/dirty motherfucker/splash some water on your ass/super soak ya/the h20 will choke ya swallow don’t spit/the overflow is to much for you bitch/

if i find more i will post soon lol #youth