Football Sunday (three hours)

for three hours a week i get to pretend you  are all dead

for three hours a week i get to live without second guessing myself

for three hours a week i get to feel safe

for three hours a week i get to feel free

for three hours a week i get to feel like i am apart of something that understands me

for three hours a week i get to enjoy being me without critique

for three hours a week i get to feel like i own my own stuff

for three hours a week i get to for get how much i hate you

for three hours a week i get to feel like i want to be alive

for three hours a week i dont feel like shit all the time

for three hours i get to be a man

for three hours a week i feel like being me is ok

#beardown

Today’s Date

oh man i have no idea where to start lol

i have been down. way down but i think i have been fighting. my laptop failed on me but instead of getting down i turned to pin and paper. i even found an old laptop ( which i am writing on now) and got i into descent working condition. house situation is not getting better but i think i am getting better at handling things. i have also come to the realization that i do need a therapy A LOT OF THERAPY! that is not a bad thing. i need people i can talk to that will actually listen even if i have to pay them for it. i want to be a better person and i am tired of feeling like being better is a bad thing. so i have plans again and i think i like them but i also know i can make better plans and can be better at working on my goals. still plan on publishuing the book. i am back to writing my comic reviews! and back to being me!!!!!!